


Things He Lost in the Fire

by darmatugan



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pack Bonding, Pack Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 22:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darmatugan/pseuds/darmatugan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Hale misses a lot of things - little things like sleeping in and eating cereal and hearing his betas laugh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things He Lost in the Fire

He misses a lot of things.

Derek misses waking up in the mornings to the sounds of Isaac and Boyd and Cora all getting ready for school, the trio mulling around downstairs and slamming the cabinet doors shut as they scrounged up some form of breakfast. He misses them leaving him notes about what kind of food they needed from the grocery store, and what kind of ice cream they wanted that night for dessert. He misses how he would hear a laugh, or two, or even three, make their way through the loft as Boyd and Cora brought up inside jokes and used their laughter to push back the darker memories. He misses how his sister would sometimes leap onto his bed like she used to when she was younger, face bright as she pushed at him to wake up for the day.

He misses coming home and finding Isaac sprawled out over his couch, homework scattered across the floor and backpack strewn across the table. He misses gathering up the bits and pieces of school work that were spread across the boy’s lithe frame and then covering him up with a light blanket. Nightmares were common place between Derek and his beta - sleep came when it came and he knew to let his beta enjoy the fleeting moments of slumber as they came. He misses Isaac sitting at the table in the morning, sipping halfheartedly at a cup of coffee and waiting several minutes before finally saying something. He misses the nights from the summer where the days had been too long and the heat had been too much and so he and Isaac retreat to a movie theater or the old subway station or an ice cream parlor or somewhere cool. He misses how the pair would just take those hot days and hot nights and escape to somewhere that didn’t have anything supernatural or anything werewolves or anything life threatening. He misses how Isaac reminded him of a younger brother, and how, over the summer, he could relax with his beta and not think about his alpha status. He misses Isaac.

He missed training in the subway station with the betas. He misses Erica using her body and her wit and her everything to try and best him. He misses Boyd sitting and silently observing, absorbing every little detail and spitting it back at the pack an hour later, just to prove that he’s smart and he belongs. He misses hearing the trio complain about his tactics, but still silently submitting and getting up off the concrete for another bout. He misses picking them up after school, misses seeing how Erica’s eyes would light up at the sight of the Camero, misses Boyd’s grin as he piled into a car with people who he got to eat lunch with, misses Isaac actually standing up for himself to the other two betas without fear of repercussions. He misses the golden eyes of his betas flashing in a subtle sign of rebellion, or a slight sign of respect. 

He misses not knowing what it was like to be an Alpha. He misses having beta powers and not knowing how much better he could be. He misses going for a run and not having to lament how much faster he’d been. He misses going out in the woods and being able to hear and smell for miles. He misses being able to feel his pack like they were a small part of his soul. He doesn’t miss the aching gap that developed as they all slowly left. 

He misses Laura. He misses how she hated him, with a burning passion, and he misses how she’d scream at him about past wrongdoings and fuck ups. He misses how she’d still pull him into a hug after every fight, her hands fisting tightly around his jacket. He misses how she was always there, her presence resting comfortably in his chest. He misses how she was his anchor, and how she kept him sane during full moons, and how she didn’t care when he’d come home smelling of alcohol and depression and desperation. He misses how he could break into a million pieces and know she’d always be there to pick him up. He misses how her hugs always seemed to be the answer to everything. He misses her. A lot.

He misses being able to cry. He misses being able to break down and fall apart. He misses being able to screw up and not face the consequences the next day. He misses not having the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. He misses being able to let his problems affect him. He misses being able to give up for once and just lay in bed, staring at the wall, not thinking and not caring. He misses knowing what it’s like to recover from an incident. He misses knowing what it’s like to accomplish something, to be proud, to have some sense of self-worth. He misses being able to feel.

Derek misses doing simple things, mundane things, like shopping for groceries or sleeping through the night. He misses watching television and reading a book. He misses laughing, not because he’s alive and survived something impossible, but because he just saw something legitimately funny. He misses afternoon naps and sleeping in and waking up without an alarm or a bolt of adrenaline. He misses eating Cheerios out of a bowl with a spoon. 

He misses his mom.

Derek Hale misses a lot of things. Most of all, he misses being able to live, and not just survive.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly me just speculating about Derek Hale's life before, after, and during all three seasons.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
